I had a dream last night that inspires this blurt…it was of what I will call “a moment of missing” – recognizing something beautiful might have happened when it didn’t, seeing what was possible to be where it wasn’t, feeling the heart open while another closed, seeing the energy flowing and then suddenly stopped, in myself or others. This has been some of my experience in these past months if not years …juxtaposed to some days of what some call continuous synchronicities…The joy when that occurs, the joy when all are in their fullness and gifts and a healthy, whole, convergence arises. Some of this I am blessed to have experienced throughout my lifetime as I know others have.
In the last months there have been more missings in certain relationships and situations which has led me to value even more that which I am speaking of. To choose to name it as best I can now on this my anniversary day …as it is something I want to give even more attention to in this coming time, i.e. to choose the people, places and situations that share this commitment to cultivate space for and with each other, in a way that the third has room to appear. This is my commitment, as much as I am able to choose and co-create differently in the months and years ahead. I have a dream, (a desire seems a bit too strong a word) best I call it “a want” or more lightly “an offer” …to commit to a shared intention –to be with, work with, partner with and be married to J the person, people, places and beings who will know and be interested as well in what I am speaking about ….
Co – arising, agreement fields, timing, dreaming, clear communication, guidance shared …all in the name of grace having room to come thru …and make room for us to be in synch with nature, with a bigger story than are own personal one, with an energy and infinite power rather then or better then simply our power or empowerment.
Some access “it” or experience what I am speaking of on a very basic level thru non-violent communication, in ceremony, council, trust, a lve field and some speak of being spirit -led. My sense is when some have experienced this kind of flow they name it – magic, synchronicity, medicine, dreamtime, communion perhaps – and they /we want no less, recognizing it is available every day if we see it, live it, water it or as some say – just get out of the way. Yes, something exists, is happening we can become and meet within. We know it thru experience of when “it” exists or happens as well as when “it” doesn’t.
Having been in a number of fields the last months where it has not been present or even cultivated or made room for, I find today I am at yet another Threshold …about to renew my vows with my partner /husband, Win. Within them is this wish…this prayer that we might support each other in our soul lines, in our destiny …in being who we are here to be …within or around that ….is our commitment to a bigger story than either of us, a story (or something more even than that) which some call GOD, the Divine, Mystery, The Third, Mother, Spirit or perhaps better yet the unnamed-or un- nameable.. Truth be told, I have this commitment, this possibility and experience with a few others and a wish to continue to widen the circle…And to do so, I feel takes intention and attention, care, a co-wish or choice, even some might call – practice. And that said, it really need not be so hard.
What such asks of us, is that we think of being and living in a partnership world view. In truth, we are never alone …we think and live like a circle or even more a spiral with no beginning and no end …beyond linear time, beyond boundaries.
We listen for what is ours to do and be, where and when and perhaps, most important of all —we listen and choose to share and be current, so we can find our way with others. Finding our way with others, our ancestors, those in our life as well as those we “other” – is a shared intention and dream.
When we can do this in a day, a project, a ceremony, a vision, a home, an organization – it is but one small step I feel to finding, discovering and living in our world – at least for me, in a way that I want to live.
Today we fix our little fountain here of recycled water – the closest we can come in Ojai to remembering 3 Creeks, and the flow of water everywhere …like our energy and our gifts …too often dammed or diverted. With this action and with our ceremony to renew our vows, I write this missive to a few of you ….
When i say “yes, I do”, in the coming time …know this is what I am saying yes to …and if I do not sense this same interest, if there is not commitment to partnerships on this level – well- my yes is unlikely to be there.
In this dream is where i feel I can respect myself and you as well as find and experience the more that is possible – for your sake, mine and all beings.
Last night watching a doco on the new Afghanistan, where the women and children are experiencing a kind of suffering hardly imaginable, I might surrender to despair. Having given much of my life, wealth, gifts and time towards the liberation and emergence of the feminine, I must own and accept my powerlessness and even failure to affect much. Yet it is in that missing, that I once again recognize the value and possibility of what is essential for me. And I am confirmed again what to give my life and time to, no matter what the outcome. And so, it is in my tiny world on an every-day basis – it is in the missing of true co arising, partnership experiences no matter what our seats, titles, or roles, that I recommit to choose and cultivate such …whether it be in my marriage with Win, the future of 3 Creeks or any endeavor.
To share what I know, see, feel and love – and what I don’t’ from vision to timing.
To offer what I can, to listen to what is needed and the dreams of others as well as my own …and with that …to find together the flow in service to life and all beings.
It is possible – with one other, with two or more, with a whole tribe or pod …the dolphins I thank for transmitting this to me and many others.
Is it worth it? I know truly no other way I want to live or continue in this world …as I find it a gateway to grace, to healing and to liberation.